Event + Response = Outcome
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Event + Response = Outcome. It seems like a simple formula doesn’t it? I guess it is-however, the complexities of how this “simple” formula affects your life are significant!
You’ve probably heard it said, “life is 10% what your given and 90% what you make of it.” Maybe you don’t agree with the percentages-maybe I don’t either-but I think most of us agree that the outcomes that we receive are determined not only by the circumstances we find ourselves in but also by how we react to those circumstances. Therefore, Event + Response = Outcome.
On an intellectual level, most people agree with this formula. Unfortunately, when in the midst of many “events” we loose sight of the fact that our response will highly affect our outcome.
I can identify with this feeling – I had a number of significant events in 2007 – I went through not hitting many of my professional goals, moving across the country, dealing with fertility issues and healing from vocal cord surgery, to name a few. In my opinion, those are pretty significant issues.
However, the event itself definitely did NOT equal the outcome. I can not deny that my response to the issue had a huge impact on the outcome I experienced. Honestly, no matter how I shake it down, when I look at the formula, I have to say that the outcome I experienced was more affected by my RESPONSE than by the EVENT itself. I am not stating that my response changed the physical reality I was facing, but I strongly argue that my response to that reality completely affected the experience I was going through. Let me share a couple of examples.
I remember dropping an ice cream cone on the ground-I had two choices of reaction. #1-I could be completely annoyed that I had spilled and frown about it. I could even get angry at the person who scooped the ice cream for poorly piling the scoop on the cone. Or #2-I could smile, apologize to the workers for making a mess, and move on. I feel certain that, had I chosen option one, I would have been tense inside. I probably would have forgone my ice cream all together and had a slight argument with the people around me. I can describe this experience because I’ve chosen this option before. In this moment, I chose option #2-I ended up laughing with the people around me, feeling relaxed inside, and actually got a free ice cream cone! The OUTCOME is completely different, but the EVENT itself was identical. What’s the difference? My REACTION.
The ice cream is easy-it seems easier to control our reaction when the event itself is relatively insignificant. How about more serious events in life? Well, last year was full of those, too. Fertility issues are a bit more substantial than ice cream. However, I have to admit that the formula still holds true-my response highly affects the outcome. I could be bitter about the event and my outcome would be a childless, ticked off existence. Or I could choose to react differently-I could react thankfully-thankful that we are able to build our family by adopting two beautiful twins! We don’t know them yet, but my reaction of love and excitement massively affects the outcome-a family of four Simpsons by the end of the year!
You, too, can choose your reactions. You may not always be able to choose your events, but you can still highly affect your outcomes-choose wisely!
Be Free!
Instructor
Thank you for sharing such good examples Leah! I think it’s easy for people to forget they have a choice. Of course, many times our initial feeling isn’t a good one, but we have time (maybe very little) to decide what our response will be. Depends on what we want the outcome to be. Two wrongs never make a right!
Comment by Bobbi Schmitt — April 7, 2009 @ 9:39 am
Leah, great article,and excellent examples that show how important it is for us to take control of our thoughts and therefore our actions or responses to the events in our lives.Like you,I have reacted favorably and unfavorably to the “dropped ice cream cones” in my life and the more serious issues too.
Thankfully, with a conscious decision to take charge of my life and responses to its events, I see continuous improvements.
Comment by Barbara J — April 7, 2009 @ 10:44 am
Great article Leah – it’s pretty amazing that what you remember about most events in our lives over the course of time, are things we actually have some control over. How you react, what you say and do in response to life’s curveballs. Some good examples and very easy to relate to article. Thanks.
Comment by Ken — April 8, 2009 @ 7:06 am
It’s awesome to look back on life and so how God was working. At the time of writing this, you mentioned that you hadn’t met Jada and Bennett yet. Now can you imagine not having them in your life? And I would bet that you wouldn’t change a thing! It seems to me that all of our “bad happenings” are actually “good things waiting to happen.” God is great!
Comment by David — April 10, 2009 @ 1:12 pm
Thank you, again Leah. You are quite the inspiration for me. My memory is working overtime as of lately …… LOL. Your story made me remember a conversation I had many years ago. That conversation links with what you have said. My boss was looking for, what I thought was, incredible sales results and I was doubting his request. He tried to justify the numbers but he knew I wasn’t buying them so he said to me “Whether you think you will or you think you won’t, you’re going to be right!” Those were very powerful words. Thank you for reminding me that I make the choices as to what my inner voice says.
Comment by Geoff Veit — April 29, 2009 @ 9:34 am
Thanks for your comments, everyone. And, more importantly, for being committed to keep your responses as positive as possible in any given moment.
Comment by Leah — May 8, 2009 @ 10:31 am