I was fifteen years old at my first school dance. Mom had prepared me well, as I knew all the popular dances. My favorite was the two-step because even if I got nervous and lost my place, I could still look as if I knew what I was doing. I practiced over and over again until I knew I was a pro.

My excitement grew as the day of the dance approached. The prettiest girl in my class, Sharon, was going to be there that night. She had the smile of an angel and beautiful hair to match. I set my sights to dance all night with Sharon. The day of the dance finally arrived, which caused the entire school to buzz at a fever pitch.

As I walked into the dance that evening, I had knowledge of all the dance steps and a huge desire to succeed. Strangely enough, all of us well-dressed young men were lined up in a row on one side of the gymnasium, while the young ladies were all lined up on the other side. I looked over at my friend Dan standing next to me and said, “So when are you dancing?” He looked back at me and said, “the next dance.” “Me too” I exclaimed. We were ready!!

Well, the next dance came and went and came and went and came and went. By the end of the evening, all of the practice and desire had left me empty-handed and still, you guessed it, standing against the wall of decision.

This wall of decision is a place where many people stay their entire life. They, seemingly, know what to do but rarely do what they know. They are incredibly talented, knowledgeable, motivated, and even driven to succeed but never really achieve the results they long for in their life or business. Do you know anybody like that?

The cost of not achieving our potential is staggering. Lost income, promotions, happiness, fulfillment, relationships, and contribution are just a few of the areas that I have seen improved by bridging the gap, as I have coached and spoken all across the world. So, what bridges the gap between where we presently are and where we really want and have the potential to be?

This question can best be answered with a quote. James Allen once said that “most people are anxious to change their circumstances but unwilling to change themselves.” The first half of the quote refers to the “knowing what to do,” while the last half refers to the “doing what you know.”

In the movie “Shawshank Redemption,” nobody had ever escaped from the Shawshank Prison prior to the arrival of Andy Dufraine (played by Tim Robbins). They had prison bars, guards, walls, guns, and discouraged escape. As confining as this prison was for all of the inmates at Shawshank, there is an even greater prison that is much more confining. This is the prison that keeps us against the “wall of decision.” A prison where there are no bars, walls, guards, guns, and escape is encouraged. This is the prison of habit. Although they can escape, most people never do escape from this prison.

Habits are the primary determinants of our success or failure. If you can replace one or two bad habits with one or two good habits, your whole life changes immediately. Some people are in the habit of not going to the health club, not getting up early, not taking immediate action, not following through on commitments, not having a great attitude, or not thinking like a winner. Some are and some aren’t. I’m sure all of us would agree that bad habits are hard to break. So it stands to reason that if the bad habits are hard to break, good habits are hard to break also!

Before we can form a new habit, we need to define what the word habit really means. Quick question: How many of you awakened this morning and got dressed? Dumb question, right? And you did it without even thinking about it. I shaved this morning without even thinking about it. Some people look for the best in every situation without even thinking about it.

Consequently, a habit is something that you do without even thinking about it. A habit is an idea or thought that has been entertained over and over and over again. So much so that it becomes embellished upon our decision-maker, which is our sub-conscious mind. Remember, “Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.” It all begins with the way we think.

What thoughts are you in the habit of entertaining?

Some people are in the habit of thinking that they can’t do something so they quickly push the thought of a new goal or better life aside. This is how they stay in the comfort zone, which still allows us to know what to do but prevents us from doing it. I stood up against the wall of that dance because being confident and taking action wasn’t a habit. Some business or sales professionals do the same thing. They get all the way to the end of the sale and they aren’t in the habit of being confident and asking for the order. Thus, they relegate themselves to a life of living paycheck to paycheck. If some companies just trained their sales and marketing teams to have two simple and important habits, such as always asking for the order, and being face to face with a customer by 9:00 a.m. each day, they would increase revenues exponentially. You can’t get up at the crack of noon and be successful, can you? You can’t hold a hostess Twinkie and lift weights at the same time. To bridge the gap between the results you are presently getting and the results you have the potential to achieve, you must turn your knowledge and desire into results through a new set of habits.

Once you have determined the area of your life that you are primarily focused on, business, relationships, etc., then apply one simple idea to get started. One idea repeated over and over in your mind becomes a what? Right! A habit! Therefore, if you were to entertain an idea over and over again, it would become a mental habit. What if you’re thinking about starting your own business or doubling your income but all evidence indicates that these won’t happen. Perhaps you want to be in a great relationship but you haven’t met that person yet. How do we not allow our present conditions to influence the way we think? Because if we do, we end up getting the same results!

Well, what if you wrote this on a 3×5 index card. “I am so happy and grateful now that I am in possession of a multi-million dollar business or the woman or man of my dreams or “you create the story.” What if you read this card many times each day? How long would it take for that thought to become a habit? Some have said that if you read the way you want to be, or a future event to become long enough, it will eventually become the truth. Why? Because you make it a mental habit!

So write down the activity that you want to become a habit on a little 3×5 index card and test this simple idea for 90 days. You certainly won’t get a brain hernia from it and the results will astound you.

The show “Who wants to be a millionaire” with Regis Philbin echoes the sentiments of our society. Most people want to have more money. If you randomly asked 100 people on the street, “do you want to double your income?” most would say yes. What type of habit do you need to become a millionaire? Well, most of us blow $20 each week on something, don’t we? If you took that nice crisp $20 bill and found employment for it each week at 14% per year compounded weekly and let it ride for 35 years, guess what? That’s right. You’d be a millionaire. That’s easy to understand. Most people probably already know that.

So why do 90% of our population retire with less than $300 of net worth? It’s not because they don’t know how to become a millionaire. It’s because they’re not in the habit of setting aside $20 each week. Let’s resolve to write one new habit down on a card and carry it with us each day so we can read it, make that idea a habit, and bridge the gap to where you deserve to be TODAY.

Be Free!

Chuck Douglas
Instructor