Who and What Do You Focus On?
Who and what do you focus on? I was reminded of this all-important question as I watched a new instructor teach the Memory Training Workshop last month.
There was a student—THAT student—who seemed confused, asked long, irrelevant, and strange questions, and just kept talking. A good part of the first half of day two was spent dealing with “Sally.”
The instructor’s presentation was rushed and he was uncomfortable. The group seemed quiet and a bit disengaged. During the break, we talked about Sally. I asked the new instructor, “Was she waving her hand to ask questions? Was she just shouting out?” (I couldn’t always see her.)
He said, “She’s just staring at me, and I can’t look away from her. So when I ask if people have questions, I know she’s got one, and I’m looking at her, and she starts talking.”
I asked him who was enjoying class the most. He easily picked out two separate groups of people who were loving it. He decided to teach to those groups. This would mean looking at them when he asked for questions, glancing at them to assess the comprehension of the group…FOCUSING on them.
Magically, we never heard from Sally again. More importantly, the whole mood of the class changed. People seemed to be “getting it” better, students were having a good time, the pace of class improved, and the trainee was a more effective instructor.
You’ve heard it over and over, but I know I can’t hear it too much—your focus is critical. I’ve even heard it said, “Your focus determines your reality.” Even when you don’t see how your focus brought someone or something (or lack there of) into your presence, what you CHOOSE to focus on will still determine your reality.
It may not change the existence of the someone or something in front of you, but by shifting your focus, a traffic accident that is slowing you down and pissing you off can become an opportunity to read a few pages in your book. A prospect that is not buying can become an opportunity to hone your skills answering objections. A gloomy, rainy day can become a day that is watering your grass seed.
You have just shifted your reality (although the people and circumstances are the same) by shifting your focus.
So what are you focusing on? Your answers may be areas that you realize could utilize a shift – please share, we would all benefit. Your answers may be areas that you have recently (maybe in the last 30 seconds reading this) realized will be a helpful place to be focusing, please share that, too. Or your answers may be some of the powerful things/places you have been focusing that have been serving you well—share with everyone!
Be Free!
Leah Simpson
Instructor
I have experienced this myself on multiple levels. Your example is mostly about focusing on people, but it also pertains to our focus on circumstances, physical surroundings, health, etc. And interestingly enough, it also applies to thoughts and ideas about events and things that don’t even currently exist. In my current situation, I find that I am constantly refocusing my attention so that my sharpest focus stays on where I intend to go (which is quite different from where I am). I can’t let the distracting things out of my sight, as they are too important to ignore. I am learning, however, that it is most helpful to identify the actions and resources that will reduce or eliminate the challenging circumstance, and direct my energies toward them.
It reminds me of teaching my oldest daughter to ride a bike. On a clear dry day, on an open piece of dirt road, she is coasting down a gentle incline. I could see her turn her head quite decisively as she locked her eyes onto the telephone pole that stood well off the roadside. I then watched her follow her line of sight directly into that telephone pole. To her, it seemed as though the bicycle had gained a will of it’s own, but it was simply her own focus that drove her there.
Fortunately, we CAN choose our focus. It may not be easy, especially if the unhelpful focus is a habit, but it can be done.
Comment by Dave Denis — January 11, 2010 @ 10:34 am
I find myself focusing more and more on the things that I want and feel compelled to do in my life. There have been periods where I have moved away from the things that I didn’t want. Been there done that, I know that’s not for me. There is a difference between these two modes of being, the energy is different. Like a magnet, I am being drawn or attracted vs. moving away or being repelled.
The key is letting go and allowing yourself to move towards things that you may have been holding back on, powerful emotions and passions that lie along the path of true purpose.
Comment by Bud Katheman — January 12, 2010 @ 6:50 am